Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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