that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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