break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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