Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
