she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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