Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
