i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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