I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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