...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
