do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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