she was so not down for the gang bang
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
