My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
