just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
