just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
