the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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