I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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