doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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