maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
