I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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