Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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