Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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