Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
