I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize