dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
