I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
