yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
