Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
