I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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