If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
