Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
