i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
