An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
