I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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