I think scott just propositioned me for sex
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize