just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
