I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
