Ambien. No doubt about it.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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