I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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