i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
