What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's blow job season.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
