she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
my poor anus
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
