I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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