Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
