After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
