you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
