dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
