Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
