When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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