the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
