Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
