what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
