Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there's paper in my vomit.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
