She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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