either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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