He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
