Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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