How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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