The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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