My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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