take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
COCAINE IS GR8
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize