weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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