Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
