Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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