I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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